Crying
I guess I am too intellectual about it to cry. I approach life with my head and not with my eyes and ears and mouth.
People who believe in God cry so much more easily.
Boyd’s parents have cried more than I have in my entire life.
Perhaps it is because of the contacts, maybe they have ruined my eyes for crying.
God I wish I could cry.
I simply can not lose control of myself—I never lose it any more. I drain it all out of me by thinking instead.
I wish I could cry and not think.
Anyway it would be better for my eyes.
Several times I was about to lose myself and my face into tears—and then I was aware of it and thought, ‘I am about to cry.’ But that would destroy it, and there wouldn’t be anything but a little wetness on my eyes, that my contacts quickly soaked.
I want to cry and not be aware.
Will ever again I do something unaware?
