battle
It's like I've lost a major battle in the war of my life, that Boyd is dead. It has made me feel so much angrier, and bitterer, and more determined. But it's taken all the appetite away from me.
It's like I'm dead up against a wall that I can't shake. I so desperately want to talk to Boyd about it. I want to reason it out with him. I need his support—to verify me.
I just need to talk to him to talk. Suddenly I am dangling in the world. I don't know how to reclaim my life alone—but now I am really alone.
I don't have the appetite anymore, that I would pick up from seeing Boyd. I don't have the string to dangle from anymore.
