Suddenly life
My manhood seems only a dream to me. An idyllic daydream, that won't come true. I can't imagine the joy of it, having a girl. It is beyond me to imagine at all. Suddenly life. It is very life.
I see so many men who have women, are married or the same as that; yet they keep it such a good secret that this is very life itself, the touch with a woman. Oh it is great, it is “love” after all, they will admit—but apparently not life itself. It's not enough to give them their very meaning, their very legitimacy, it seems. Their woman is not enough, not at all, it seems, to appease their overwhelming need for afterlife, eternal life. Or if it is, it's the best kept secret I know of.
For me, I know a woman, the right one, a real one, a true woman, would be enough. It would be life. Suddenly life.
But there is a feeling that runs deep in me, that I'll never know a woman. That my manhood is all a dream: to be unfulfilled. A daydream even.
Why that must be I don't know. It is only a feeling; that doesn't mean there is necessarily anything to it.
